What OCD Feels Like
By: Christina Zambrano, LPN
It’s convincing yourself that watching your loved one’s location one more time means they’ll make it home safely.
It’s believing that if you can control everything nothing bad will ever happen.
It’s telling yourself, “just a few more minutes” while an hour slips away.
It’s staring at the little dot on the map, unable to pull yourself away, while the dishes pile up in the sink, laundry waits, your work goes unfinished, and the things you actually want to do gets pushed to the side.
It’s wanting to get up
But feeling trapped by the thought of you stop watching something bad will happen.
It’s seeking reassurance to soften the anxiety only for it to come back stronger and stronger every time.
It’s asking “are you sure?”
Then needing to hear it one more time.
It’s living in the worst case scenarios while real life quietly passes you by.
It’s feeling responsible for things that were never meant for you to control
It’s replaying conversations late at night sacrificing sleep, searching for the moment you got it wrong.
It’s checking. Then checking that you checked.
It’s apologizing for things you didn’t do.
It’s needing certainty in a world that can’t give it
Its questioning your stories
It’s questioning your intentions
It’s questioning who you are
It’s feeling guilty over thoughts you never wanted
It’s arguing with your mind until your exhausted
It’s your brain whispering “what if” until it sounds louder than reality
It’s knowing it doesn’t make sense and still feeling like you can’t stop
It’s losing hours trying g to stop a future that hasn’t happened
It’s mistaking fear for responsibility
It’s sacrificing your own peace because your mind is convinced that is what love looks like
It’s wanting freedom, but feeling like letting go would be reckless
When in reality it is ocd convincing you that enough checking, enough control, enough worry can guarantee safety….
Even though it never can
If this resonates with you, please know you are NOT alone and there is help! Evidence Based therapies like Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) has been proven to reduce symptoms significantly, allowing you to get back to living your life.
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